Unforgivable
by Junebugsm
Summary: Stef and Lena's reaction to finding out the pregnancy test belongs to Mariana.


**Stef and Lena's reaction to finding out the pregnancy test belongs to Mariana.**

(I know this probably isn't how it's going to really happen but just a one shot of how the moms feel about their fifteen year old being pregnant when they lost their baby.)

* * *

"Callie, you may go." Stef said when it became apparent that the test belonged to Mariana.

It was Sunday morning and Stef had just found the empty box as she was picking up the garbage that the wind had strewn all over the place and walked into the kitchen to find her wife and both their daughters already there.

Mariana sat uncomfortably on her stool, looking down at the apple in her hand, wishing desperately that she could just disappear. She had stuck that box right at the bottom of the trash but the stupid storm had knocked it over and her mother had found it and now she knew that she was in trouble, especially with Stef who could tend to blow up instantly before calming down enough to actually talk.

But what surprised both Mariana and Stef was the fact that Lena began the rant.

"What is this Mariana?" Lena asked, snatching the box off the table where Stef had put it.

Mariana chose not to answer, instead she glanced tentatively up at Stef, trying to judge what was about to happen. It wasn't usually Lena that started these types of conversations.

"I asked you a question." Lena said angrily. "Look at me."

Mariana looked up at Lena but continued to keep her mouth shut.

"Where did you get this?" Lena asked her, holding up the box, making it clearly visible for their daughter.

"Pharmacy." Mariana answered softly.

"Why?" Lena asked harshly.

But this time Mariana didn't answer - why would anyone buy a pregnancy test?

"When did you buy it?" Lena asked, realizing that there was no point in getting the previous question answered.

"Friday." Mariana answered.

"And when did you have sex?" Lena asked.

Once again Mariana chose to remain silent, hoping that it would cause less trouble but Lena wasn't having any of it.

"WHEN?" Lena asked again, more angrily.

"End of school party." Mariana practically whispered.

"What?" Lena asked. "Speak up. If you're mature enough to have sex and get pregnant then you're mature enough to answer questions about it."

Once again Mariana glanced at Stef who was looking just as surprisingly at Lena.

"We teach you about safe sex but you don't listen. We put condoms in your bathroom but you don't use them. We tell you to come to us when you have a problem but you don't even do that. Why do we even bother with any of this?" Lena asked rhetorically as she turned towards Stef. "We should just leave them and let them do whatever the hell they want. That's what they do anyway."

Stef glanced at Mariana and watched the girl's face go from nervous and slightly scared to absolutely terrified. She could read Mariana like a book at that moment. Mariana was terrified that her mother was giving up on her. That she'd made one mistake too many and it was the final straw.

In one swift motion Stef walked over to Mariana and pulled the girl into her side holding her tight. Maybe Mariana made a mistake - more than a few mistakes but nothing was so bad that the child had to feel like her mothers' didn't love her anymore. She knew she'd done the right thing when Mariana pressed into her side as hard as she could, trying to draw as much comfort and protection as possible.

"Lena." Stef said firmly when Lena was about to continue voicing her anger and disappointment.

Lena looked at her wife wondering why she wasn't more upset about this. So far she hadn't said a word to their daughter and Lena was upset that she didn't seem to have Stef's support. When she noticed, for the first time, that Stef was actually hugging Mariana and obviously not on the same page as she herself was she huffed angrily and headed up the stairs to her room aware from her wife and daughter and that damn pregnancy test.

* * *

"I'm sorry." Mariana whispered into Stef's side. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh love." Stef said gently as she rubbed a hand up and down her daughter's back. "We'll figure this out."

"It just happened once and I know it was a mistake but I was scared so I took the test to find out." Mariana explained though her tears. "I didn't want to be pregnant and I was scared to come to you. I just thought that I'd do a home test first and see what it said."

"What did it say?" Stef asked. She had been dying to know that answer but she felt that assuring her daughter was more important."

"It was negative." Mariana said, relief obviously sounding in her voice.

"Okay." Stef said. "That's good, but you know those tests can be wrong sometimes. We will get you an appointment with the OBGYN and get a definite answer. It'll also be good for her to check you out and talk you through some things since you are starting to have sex."

"I won't ever again." Mariana said quickly. She was determined never to let this happen again.

Stef smiled. "Yes you will honey." She stroked Mariana's hair as she sat down on the stool beside her. "You're at the age where you're going to start having sex and it's okay." She assured. "We don't expect you to be a virgin forever." She smiled slightly "We didn't expect it with your brothers we don't expect it with you. We just want you to be safe and be honest with us. Nothing is more important than that."

"I was safe." Mariana mumbled, looking up at her mother. "We did use a condom. I took one just in case." She clarified when Stef looked at her questioningly.

"Well I'm definitely proud of you for that." Stef said, kissing her daughter's head.

"But I still messed up." Mariana said regretfully. "I keep messing up and I went too far." She began to get worked up again, thinking back to the last year where she'd caused more trouble than she ever imagined.

"Oh baby, everyone makes mistakes." Stef said. "Even mama and I make mistakes that we wish we could undo but can't." She assured. "You're no different baby. We're all human."

"But this was unforgivable." Mariana said, thinking back to how angry Lena got. "Mama hates me now."

Stef gently lifted Mariana's face and used her thumbs to wipe the tears that were on her cheeks. " _Nothing_ is unforgivable." She said clearly. "Absolutely _nothing_ is unforgivable." She waited for Mariana to nod, signaling that she understood before she continued. "Mama doesn't hate you. She may be a little upset and disappointed but she definitely doesn't hate you and she is not giving up on you." Stef knew that's what was worrying the girl so much - the fact that Lena had basically implied that they were going to leave her to her own defenses."

"She's fed up of me." Mariana said, just as Stef was expecting.

"No, she isn't." Stef clarified. "She's just hurting."

Mariana frowned slightly, wondering what her mother meant.

Stef sighed as things were falling into place in her mind. "She's still grieving over Frankie baby." Stef said by way of explanation. "This came as a shock to her and with everything she's feeling she just got a little more intense than she intended."

Mariana glanced out the kitchen window at the tree that had pride of place in their back yard and Stef's eyes followed her daughter's.

"She just needs a little time to calm down and everything will be okay." Stef assured her daughter. "I promise you that everything will be okay. Just give her a little time and let me talk to her."

Mariana nodded as Stef gave her one more kiss. "Why don't you go take a nice hot bath and try to relax while I talk to mama and we'll come and get you in a little bit." Stef suggested, hoping it would relax her daughter enough to calm down completely.

"I really am sorry mom." Mariana said as she stood up to head upstairs for a bath.

"I know love." Stef said. "We'll work it all out, don't worry." She assured as she too climbed the stairs to her wife.

* * *

"What was that?" Lena asked the moment Stef entered their bedroom. "You were completely unsupportive."

Stef remained silent, waiting for Lena to get whatever she was feeling out.

"And how are you so calm anyways?" Lena asked questioningly. "Our daughter is pregnant and you just stood there like she said she was thinking about cutting her hair or something. This is serious Stef, you can't just take the back seat."

I think you were serous enough for the both of us." Stef said defensively.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lena asked angrily.

Stef softened as she took Lena's hand and sat them both down on the bed. "Honey I know this has to be hard for you." Stef began, wondering if Lena even realized why she was so angry. "I understand that, I do. But making Mariana feel like she's alone in this isn't going to help anyone."

"What are you talking about?" Lena asked, not ready to admit that she was hurting.

"You're upset about Frankie and it hurts that Mariana is pregnant. "

"It's not right." Lena said, finally letting the hurt show. "She's only fifteen."

"She is only fifteen." Stef agreed. "She's only fifteen and she needs her moms' support." She added gently, helping Lena realize that she had to put aside her own hurt feelings and be there for their daughter.

"I just feel like everyone around me getting pregnant. People who aren't even ready to be parents or aren't good parents. Why did I lose my baby? What did I do wrong?" Lena asked as the tears began to flow freely.

"Honey, it's not fair." Stef agreed wholeheartedly. "You would have made a fantastic mother to our baby, just like you are with our other babies." She paused a moment before continuing. "But love, what happened wasn't Mariana's fault and it wasn't Ana's fault." She said, knowing that's who Lena was really talking about. "But baby it wasn't your fault either. It was just meant to be this way. It sucks, I know it sucks."

Lena just sat silently as she cried, thinking about everything Stef was saying. She knew she was right - this wasn't Mariana's fault or Ana's or anyone else's. She also knew that it wasn't really her own fault either but she still couldn't help but feel guilty that she'd done something to deserve this. That maybe she'd done something wrong that resulted in her beautiful baby girl to be taken from them before they ever even got a chance to get to know her.

"I don't ever what you to hide what you're feeling from me." Stef continued. "If you are angry or hurting or confused, I want you to come to me and we'll deal with it together but we have to tread carefully with Mariana." Stef said, knowing that Lena would agree. "She scared and she needs us and we can't make her feel like she can't come to us or that something she's done is unforgivable."

Lena nodded, wiping her eyes as she began to regret the things she'd said to their daughter. She'd made a mistake and allowed her own feelings to interfere with being a mom and her daughter was now terrified because of it.

"She may not even be pregnant." Stef informed Lena. "She used protection and the test came back negative."

"We still need to take her to Hillcroft." Lena said, thinking along the same lines that Stef had earlier. "She needs to see a doctor if she's started having sex."

Stef smiled. This was the Lena she knew - the one who wanted to do everything right when it came to her kids.

"I should go talk to her." Lena finally said, realizing that she had to make things right with Mariana otherwise the girl would never feel safe and comfortable coming to her with a problem.

"I'm sure she'd like that." Stef nodded, knowing that Mariana needed Lena to forgive her.

"Come with me." Lena requested.

"Of course." Stef said, knowing that she'd go but wouldn't say much. This was something Lena had to fix on her own. "I'm here for you." She reminded Lena. "I'm here to listen to whatever you have to say. You don't have to hide from me."

"I know." Lena said, "I'm sorry."

Stef smiled lovingly at Lena as the two headed into their daughter's room.

* * *

"Hey." Lena said as she sat down on Mariana's bed as Stef sat down on Callie's and just watched.

The girl was just sitting there staring at a spot on the floor, the negative pregnancy test in her hands. Her hair was still dripping down her back but she didn't seem to care or even notice really.

"Hi." Mariana said back, not looking up from the spot on the rug.

Lena reached over and pulled the stick out of Mariana's hand and looked at it.

"You know I love you right?" Lena said, observing the child.

Mariana looked up at her mother, the uncertainty clear in her eyes.

"I will always love you." Lena said firmly as she took Mariana's hand. "I'm sorry I got so angry. I never meant to make you feel like you were bad or that you couldn't come to me for anything."

"It's okay, I messed up." Mariana whispered.

"We all mess up sometimes." Lena said, just as Stef had earlier. "I messed up with the way I handled things." She admitted, showing her daughter that no one was without fault. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you'd done something that I couldn't forgive or that you had to hide from me."

"I'm sorry I disappointed you." Mariana said, knowing that while her mother may have forgiven her and may even support her, she was still disappointed about it all.

"Me too." Lena said and Mariana looked at her. "I'm sorry that I disappointed you too."

"How did you disappoint me?" Mariana asked curiously.

"I didn't handle it like I should have." Lena said. "You expected something from me as your mother but you got something else."

"It's okay." Mariana said. She hadn't even thought about it like that.

"Baby, you're fifteen." Lena said. "Mistakes, disappointment, bad choices; they are about to happen." Lena went on. "We knew you were going to have sex sooner or later. I'm so proud of you for doing it the right way and using protection." Lena said emphatically. "Not just to prevent pregnancy but to prevent STI's which, at the end of it all, could be far worse than getting pregnant."

Mariana nodded. She was safe. She'd listened to all the things her moms had told her over the years and did it just the way they told her. She brought the condom, not leaving it up to the guy. She just felt a little nervous so she took the test.

"But I'm not angry." Lena continued. "Not that you had sex, or that you might be pregnant or for anything else."

"You're not." Mariana asked.

"No." Lena confirmed. "I was hurting because I lost Frankie and I took it out on you and I'm sorry for that but it doesn't change the fact that I love you and I'm always here for you no matter what and there is absolutely nothing that you can't tell me or come to me for."

"I'm not ready to be a mom." Mariana said. She'd been relieved that the test came back negative but now that her mom's said that it weren't always a hundred percent accurate and that she needed to see a doctor she was scared again.

"Let's first see what the doctor has to say." Lena suggested. "You may not be. You did use a condom and the test came back negative. We are just being sure."

Mariana nodded in understanding.

"But either way, you aren't doing this alone." Lena said. "Any of it." She cleared, including the fact that they might be helping her raise a baby. "We are here and we will always be here."

"But still, I'll be a mom at fifteen." Mariana said nervously. "Look what happened to Ana." She reminded them. "I guess I'm more like her than I thought." She mumbled under her breath.

Lena squeezed the hand that she was holding, prompting Mariana to look up at her. "I will not let you go through what Ana did." Lena promised. "It will not be the same. You will stay here, you will have help and if you choose to keep the baby then no one is going to take it from you. You have everything you need right here baby and even when you don't know what you're doing, mom and I are here to help you."

Mariana nodded with a small smile of gratitude but the nervousness was still clear.

"It may not be easy but we'll find a way to make it work." Lena said, knowing that the girl wasn't stupid enough to think that everything would be all rainbows and butterflies. "We'll form a routine and eventually we'll all fall into a rhythm."

Mariana nodded a little more confidently this time.

"Anyway, let's first wait and see what the doctor has to say before we panic okay?" Lena asked, wrapping an arm around Mariana's shoulders.

Mariana nodded with a smile. "I love you mama and I'm so sorry."

"I love you too baby." Lena said, giving her a tight hug. "You remember that always. No matter what - I love you and nothing you could ever do will be unforgivable."

Stef watched the scene in front of her and smiled as a lone tear trickled down her face. She was so proud of her family. They all made mistakes and hurt each other sometimes but in the end they were always there for each other and that's what really mattered.

"What are you sitting over there for?" Lena asked, turning to her wife and compelling her to join them.

Stef smiled as she got up and sat on the other side of their daughter, happily joining in the hug.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

I didn't want Lena to actually be mean just more hurt but I thought that it couldn't be easy for her to found out that their fifteen year old may have a baby when she couldn't. Also the fact that both girls were already in the kitchen when Stef brought in the box resulted in them not having time for it to all sink in so her first reactions were the ones that ultimately showed.

Also, I'm just assuming that Mariana did have a condom on her since she'd gone to the beach party with the intention of having sex with Matt. I haven't mentioned whether she is pregnant or not because I don't want to change the way the show may go.


End file.
